Neera Chopra lived through abuse, poverty and some tough choices to make
her once-unwanted girl child, Pooja Chopra, the Pantaloons Femina Miss
Pooja Chopra with her mother.
I don't know where to begin... they were terrible times. My husband
was well-placed, but the marriage had begun to sink almost as soon as it
began. Like most women do, I tried to work against all the odds .
My in-laws insisted everything would be alright if I had a son. My
first child was a daughter, and that didn't do me any good... but I
couldn't walk out. I had lost my father, my brother was in a
not-so-senior position in Bata. I didn't want to be a burden on my
family and continued to live in my marital home in Kolkata.
I looked after my mother-inlaw, who was suffering from cancer, and
while bathing her, I would tell myself she would bless me and put things
right.
I don't know how I tolerated it all. The least a man can do, if he
must philander, is to not flaunt his women in his wife's face. Then
began the manhandling. I still wanted my marriage to survive. I was a
pure vegetarian and learnt to cook non-vegetarian delicacies thinking it
would please him.
Then, I was pregnant again. When Pooja was eight months in my womb, my
husband brought a girl to the house and announced he would marry her. I
thought of killing myself. I hung on the slight hope that if the baby
was a boy, my marriage could be saved.
When Pooja was born a girl, for three days, nobody came to the
hospital. There was a squadron leader's wife on the opposite bed, who
was kind enough to give me baby clothes for Pooja to wear. When she was
20 days old, I had to make a choice. I left the house with my girls '
Pooja and Shubra, who was seven then. I haven't seen my husband since.
I promised myself, even if we had just one roti, we would share it, but
together.
I began life in Mumbai with the support of my mother, brother, who was
by then married. It wasn't the ideal situation, especially when he had
children ' space, money, everything was short. I began work at the Taj
Colaba and got my own place. How did I manage' Truth be told, I would
put a chatai on the floor, leave two glasses of milk and some food, and
bolt the door from outside before going to work. I would leave the key
with the neighbours and tell the kids to shout out to them when it was
time to leave for school.
Their tiny hands would do homework on their own, feed themselves on
days that I worked late. My elder daughter Shubhra would make Pooja do
her corrections... This is how they grew up. At a birthday party, Pooja
would not eat her piece of cake, but pack it and bring it home to share
with her sister. When Shubhra started working, she would skip lunch and
pack a chicken sandwich that she would slip in her sister's lunchbox
the next day.
I used to pray, 'God, punish me for my karma, but not my innocent
little kids. Please let me provide them the basics.' I used to
struggle for shoes, socks, uniforms. I was living in Bangur Nagar,
Goregaon. Pooja would walk four bus stops down to the St Thomas
Academy. Then, too little to cross the road, she would ask a passerby
to help her. I had to save the bus money to be able to put some milk in
their bodies.
Life began to change when I got a job for Rs 6,000 at the then Goa
Penta. Mr Chhabra, the owner, and his wife, were kind enough to provide
a loan for me. I sent my daughters to my sister's house in Pune, with
my mother as support. I spent four years working in Goa while I saved to
buy a small one-bedroom house in Pune (where the family still lives). I
would work 16-18 hours a day, not even taking weekly offs to accumulate
leave and visit my daughters three or four times a year.
Once I bought my house and found a job in Pune, life began to settle. I
worked in Hotel Blue Diamond for a year and then finally joined Mainland
China ' which changed my life. The consideration of the team and
management brought me the stability to bring them up, despite late hours
and the travelling a hotelier must do.
Shubhra got a job in Hotel Blue Diamond, being the youngest employee
there while still in college, and managed to finish her Masters in
commerce and her BBM. Today, she is married to a sweet Catholic boy who
is in the Merchant Navy and has a sweet daughter.
I continue to finish my day job and come home and take tuitions, as I
have done for all these years. I also do all my household chores
myself.
Through the years, Shubhra has been my anchor and Pooja, the rock.
Pooja's tiny hands have wiped away my tears when I broke down. She has
stood up for me, when I couldn't speak for myself. Academically
brilliant, she participated in all extra-curricular activities. When she
needed high heels to model in, she did odd shows and bought them for
herself.
When I saw Pooja give her speech on TV, I knew it came from her heart.
I could see the twinkle in her eye. And I thought to myself as she won
'My God, this is my little girl.' God was trying to tell me
something.
Today, I've no regrets. I believe every cloud has a silver lining. As
a mother, I've done nothing great.
'I won due to my mother's karma'
Pantaloons Femina Miss India Pooja Chopra's mother promised 'One
day, this girl will make me proud'. Pooja speaks on fulfilling that
promise... When I was 20 days old, my mother was asked to make a choice.
It was either me ' a girl child, or her husband. She chose me. As she
walked out she turned around and told her husband, 'One day, this girl
will make me proud'. That day has come. Her husband went on to marry a
woman who gave him two sons. Today, as I stand here a Miss India, I
don't even know if my father knows that it is me, his daughter, who
has set out to conquer the world, a crown on my head. Our lives have not
been easy, least so for my mother. Financially, emotionally, she
struggled to stay afloat, to keep her job and yet allow us to be the
best that we could be. I was given only one condition when I started
modelling ' my grades wouldn't drop.
All the girls in the pageant worked hard, but my edge was my mother's
sacrifice, her karma. Today, when people call to congratulate me, it's
not me they pay tribute to, but to her life and her struggle. She's
the true Woman of Substance. She is my light, my mentor, my driving
force. My win was merely God's way of compensating her.
--
Cheers
Raj
